In a couple of weeks, our nation will turn to celebrate the 20th anniversary of National Adoption Month. It’s a time of year marked with an annual proclamation by our president, special events, family gatherings, and mass adoption finalizations. Television and radio programs will burst with stories both heartwarming and horrifying in an effort to draw attention to the glaring need to find homes for the400,000 children that linger, on average, for nearly two years in the foster care system.

As someone who’s lectured at the university level about this system, of which I am a product, I have to admit I’ve never understood why so many of my foster care brothers and sisters continue to languish in the foster care system. In truth, they should have found homes a long time ago. At this very minute, there are an estimated 2 million LGBT adults who want to parent children, many of whom would love to do so through adoption. Research also shows that children growing up with LGBT parents fare as well as children raised by heterosexual parents. That means that in the LGBT population alone there may be more than enough ready and capable parents to provide families for our nation’s foster children.

And yet 11 states continue to bar same-sex couples and LGBT individuals from adopting. That means we have enough children needing homes to fill a city the size of Cleveland or Minneapolis. We have a surplus of parents who would like to adopt them. But we’re still seeking ways to prevent them from finding each other. That makes no sense. 

It makes even less sense when you consider that foster care programs cost American taxpayers $22 billion each year. That’s about $68 out of the pocket of every one of the estimated 320 million people in the United States every year.

This is but one of the many ways that nation’s love affair with homophobia is devastating our nation’s foster children. And it gets worse when we consider the effects of homophobia on LGBT children in foster care. Consider this:

• LGBT children are overrepresented in the foster care system. In Washington alone, an estimated 19 percent of foster children identify as LGBT — a figure that is nearly double that of the general LGBT population.  
• Once in foster care, LGBT children often receive worse treatment than their non-LGBT peers. A recent study in Los Angeles County found that LGBT children experience more foster care placements and are three times more likely than non-LGBT foster children to have been hospitalized for emotional reasons. 
• Many foster care caseworkers and LGBT children report that foster care is not a safe place to question your orientation, and many foster homes and families are not thoroughly assessed to see if they can support LGBT children. 
•In some areas, an estimated 56 percent of LGBT children end up running away from foster care when they encounter violence and rejection. Some have even been forced to endure so-called conversion “therapy” and exorcisms.

These are also some of the reasons that it’s critical that more adoptees, like me, stand up in support of same-sex adoption. Many people think that LGBT people adopting children will hurt them. It’s not surprising that many people have this view, including some adult children of same-sex couples who have spoken out against marriage equality. After all, institutionalized homophobia affects us all. It fools us into cherry-picking nonrepresentative examples in order to support a particular bias or agenda. It also fools us into buying our nation’s homophobic narrative in the face of a growing chorus of contradicting research and the real life experiences of many happy and well-adjusted people who have been raised by LGBT families.

As an adoptee and survivor of childhood abuse and neglect, I can tell you from personal experience a fact overlooked by too many people who oppose same-sex adoption: A parent’s sexual orientation has nothing to do with the love and care they give their children. My parents’ being straight did not prevent them from abusing and neglecting me any more than being LGBT would somehow cause other parents to abuse and neglect their children. Because of this, I see no reason why LGBT people shouldn't be able to adopt. Being in LGBT homes isn’t what hurts children. What hurts many children is the homophobia that subjects them to unfair treatment and prevents them from finding loving homes in the first place.

Just a few short months ago, President Obama remarked that “all young people, regardless of what they look like, which religion they follow, who they love, or the gender they identify with, deserve the chance to dream and grow in a loving, permanent home.” But until we can overcome the homophobia that is hurting our nation’s foster children, those forever homes will remain forever out of reach. And until we can put the needs of our children above our bigotry and hate, our celebrations of National Adoption Month will ring forever hollow.

This Country Is Apparently Still Not Ready for Gay Parents

A high school student in Northern California is filing a lawsuit against two of her school’s administrators after she was told that her “Nobody Knows I’m a Lesbian” shirt was being disruptive. 

The teen, identified by the initials “T.V.,” and her mother filed the suit in federal court charging that assistant principal Dan Beukelman and vice principal Greg Leland of Sierra High School in Manteca, Calif., violated both her state and federal constitutional rights by not letting her wear the shirt during school hours and subsequently sending her home for it, reports Courthouse News Service. The administrators claimed the shirt was “promoting sex” and “an open invitation to sex,” according to the suit. 

“Public schools can't censor the political beliefs of students, and free speech is not subject to the whims and biases of school administrators,” American Civil Liberties Union attorney Christine Sun, the teen’s legal counsel, told Courthouse News. “This student's school should be teaching her to think for herself, not punishing her for being herself.”

A similar incident happened earlier this year in South Carolina when Chesnee High School senior Briana Popour was asked to change her T-shirt (one that bore the same “Nobody Knows I’m a Lesbian” message) by a school administrator and was suspended after refusing to do so.

“Isn’t that what school is supposed to teach you? To be happy with who you are?” Popour told local TV station WSPA at the time of her incident. “Maybe people will be more comfortable showing who they are because you should be able to wear what you want to wear.” 

Another School Bans 'Nobody Knows I'm a Lesbian' Shirt

Another 'Nobody Knows I'm a Lesbian' Shirt Incident Leads to Litigation Against School

If timing is everything, then the NFL’s New York Giants did everything Sunday to send a message to haters in Texas that the team supports LGBT rights. A YouTube video featuring the rough and tough members of the Giants was released. encouraging LGBT coaches and athletes to be proud of who they are and not be discouraged from participating in team sports. 

Six Giants took part in making this first You Can Play video, including Victor Cruz and Prince Amukamara along with former Giants David Diehl and Hall of Famer Harry Carson, as the New York Daily News reported.

“The New York Giants believe that all athletes should be afforded equal opportunity, and judged only by their talent, character and work ethic,” says Zak DeOssie in the video.

“We are thrilled that the Giants are leading the charge in the NFL for LGBT inclusion,”  said Wade Davis, the You Can Play organization’s executive director and a former NFL player. 

“The entire Giants organization has committed to inclusion for all, including LGBT athletes and fans. The vocal support of alumni like Harry Carson, the Giants’ front office staff, and current players sends a giant message to all sports fans, especially young fans everywhere.”

Although the Giants don't have any out players on their team — in fact, right now, no NFL team has a player or coach who is out — there was, last year. Michael Sam was the first openly gay player drafted by an NFL team, the St Louis Rams. He was cut, and then made the Dallas Cowboys's practice team, before getting cut again. Sam was signed by a Canadian team before deciding to retire from pro football, citing mental health concerns.

The Giants's video comes on the heels of a controversy involving the owner of the Houston Texans, who has come under fire for his $10,000 donation to the campaign to repeal the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance.

As The Advocate reported last week, Bob McNair now wants his money back.

“I do not believe in or tolerate personal or professional discrimination of any kind,” McNair reportedly said in a statement.“I also believe that we Houstonians should have an ordinance that unites our community and provides a bold statement of non-discrimination. I encourage all Houstonians to vote on November 3.”

And just to make sure Texans got the Giants's message of inclusivity, Big Blue beat that other football team from Texas on Sunday, the Dallas Cowboys, 27 to 20 at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, N.J. 

Watch the You Can Play Project video, below.

WATCH: N.Y. Giants Tell LGBT Athletes, 'You Can Play!'

WATCH: New York Giants Tell LGBT Athletes, 'You Can Play!'

Administrators at Arborwood Elementary School in Monroe, Mich. have decided to ban a popular children’s book from their annual book fair because one of its main characters is gay.

The latest installment of author Dav Pilkey’s popular, long-running children’s series Captain Underpants— titled Captain Underpants and the Sensational Sag of Sir Stinks A-Lot— is being barred from sale at the book fair because it was deemed to be “controversial," according to Detroit TV station WXYZ.

“Scholastic notified us and the school that there was a book that may be a little controversial,” Monroe Public Schools superintendent Dr. Barry Martin told WXYZ. Scholastic is the publisher of Captain Underpants and the sponsor of Arborwood Elementary’s bookfair. “The school decided we’ll make it available online, but we won’t make it available in the actual book fair itself.”

The station reports that the decision to ban the book was made by the school’s parent-teacher organization, out of concern that students make most of their book fair purchases without the supervision of parents.

“Most of the kids come in and they buy books and the parents aren’t part of the selection,” said Martin. “In this case, we felt it was necessary that if this book was going to be purchased, the parent needed to be involved in that.”

Books in the Captain Underpants series were the most banned book of 2013 and 2014, according to the American Library Association. 

Watch WXYZ’s full report in the video below.

WATCH: School Bans Captain Underpants Over Gay Character

WATCH: Gay Character in Captain Underpants Sparks School Ban

The Advocate asked J.J. Abrams, Jason Collins, Gigi Gorgeous, and more at the GLSEN Respect Awards for advice to LGBT kids starting high school.

GLSEN Respect Awards

Jason Collins

Cochairs Marilyn Katzenberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, and Jim Parsons

Zachary Quinto, Recipient of GLSEN's Champion Award

Gigi Gorgeous (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/GregoryGORGEOUS" target="_blank">YouTube star</a>)

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

J.J. Abrams (<em>Star Trek</em>)

J.J. Abrams and Katie McGrath

Cochair Bob Greenblatt and Eliza Byard, Executive Director of GLSEN

Dana Delany (<em>Hand of God</em>)

Raymond Braun (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbj0oi9NY34z2JJ9ElYNwyQ" target="_blank">YouTube star</a>)

Sasha Alexander and Jessica Capshaw

Robbie Rogers

Trina McGee-Davis (<em>Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World</em>)

Kirsten Vangsness (<em>Criminal Minds</em>) and Bullseye, Target mascot

Sasha Alexander

Connor Franta (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/ConnorFranta">YouTube star</a>)

Jessica Capshaw

Todrick Hall (MTV's Todrick)

Joe Zee, Editor in Chief of Yahoo Style (right)

Gavin MacIntosh (<em>The Fosters</em>)

Zachary Quinto and GLSEN Youth

Brad Bessey (Producer, <em>Entertainment Tonight</em>)

Eliza Byard and Julia Roberts (right)

Brendan Jordan (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCDQGFnUC1iw_oQ5Vs1KoVlg">YouTube star</a>)

Jeffrey Marsh (<a href="https://vine.co/jeffreymarsh">Vine star</a>)

Julia Roberts and GLSEN Youth

When I founded Truth Wins Out in 2006, the myth that one could “pray away the gay” was a central part of the Religious Right’s strategy to demonize and legislate against LGBT people. In less than a decade, this elaborate hoax is in ruins — with only hard-core dead-enders peddling this manufactured lie.

In 2006 my organization was battling Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out program, which was a traveling road show that featured “ex-gay” activists. This program dissolved years ago after it stopped making money and attendance dwindled. We were also at war with Exodus International, which is now defunct after the group’s leader admitted that conversion therapy does not work and that 99.9 percent of clients were not changing their sexual orientation.

I am still in periodic contact with the “ex-gay” antagonists of yesteryear. Usually it is in the form of randomly stumbling upon their Facebook posts. One former “ex-gay” leader writes about how he is in love with the man he married. Another emotes on the joy he had when he came out to his son and found acceptance. Yet another posts on his journey coming out of the closet and his entrance into the world of dating.

The “ex-gay” industry is a shambles — albeit one that has left a trail of blood, pain, tragedy, and tears. No serious person promotes this charade — and those who do are viewed as as backward and delusional. The future is bleak for practitioners of this psychological voodoo.  

For the unfamiliar, conversion therapy is a pseudoscience that blames homosexuality on molestation or bad parenting. Specifically, the practice claims — without evidence — that a rift between a child and a same-sex parent can lead to a child rejecting that parent and his or her gender role. At puberty this leads to sexualizing the same sex. Conversion therapy seeks to reverse this alleged process through a combination of prayer, talk therapy, and creating nonsexual same-sex friendships. It also includes masculinity exercises for men, such as touch football and drinking Gatorade, and lipstick seminars for girls.

Conversion therapy for minors is now prohibited in the District of Columbia, New Jersey, California, Oregon, and Illinois. There are several legislatures that will follow the lead of these states. The effort to protect children from such mental anguish is bipartisan, with two conservative Republican governors — Bruce Rauner of Illinois and Chris Christie of New Jersey — signing conversion therapy bans into law.

In June the Southern Poverty Law Center won a monumental legal victory over a notorious conversion therapy racket in New Jersey. A jury found Jews Offering New Alternatives to Healing guilty of consumer fraud. JONAH had misled its clients by falsely promising that they could help them change their sexual orientation from gay to straight. The trial exposed the outlandish tactics used by JONAH-affiliated therapists, which included abusive, bizarre, and unscientific practices such as having clients undress and touch their genitals and reliving painful childhood moments in failed efforts to turn them into heterosexuals.

This is why every respected medical and mental health association in the nation condemns conversion therapy. This includes the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Medical Association, and the American Psychiatric Association.

In the latest catastrophe for the “ex-gay” industry, a new government report was released this month that warned about the dangers of conversion therapy for minors. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s report examined the evidence and concluded there is no efficacy for conversion therapy and it can lead to harmful consequences. Included in the report was a consensus statement by the American Psychological Association that explained the potential harms of conversion therapy and pointed out that being gay is a normal and natural variation of human sexuality.

Unfortunately, as long as there is prejudice and discrimination, some people will be determined to change who they are. Fitting in and being loved and accepted are powerful motivators — even if the effort is a fool’s errand that will inevitably lead to failure.

Some people, particularly parents, feel conversion therapy is safe and there is no harm if their child gives it a try. In reality, such rejection of self can be psychologically devastating and leave lasting mental scars that must be undone with real therapy. The single worst decision a parent can make is forcing their child into conversion therapy.

Still, a demand often fueled by religious fervor inevitably creates a pool of religious ideologues or greedy practitioners who bilk desperate and vulnerable clients with promises of healing or an elusive cure. This is why conversion therapy must be banned for minors in all 50 states. I urge everyone to get behind such noble efforts that protect teenagers and put conversion con artists out of business.

We must also be vigilant to ensure the “ex-gay” industry does not continue to wage this unholy war abroad. As they lose at home, they are shifting operations to more favorable terrain overseas. Many of these countries lack the freedom of speech and assembly that we take for granted. When coming out is criminalized and those who speak out risk jail or violence, the disinformation peddled by conversion therapists can flower. We must creatively and assertively strategize with our partners abroad to meet this challenge by fighting lies with truth — just as we did at home.

In America, the right wing’s favored antigay strategy — the “ex-gay” industry — has fallen on hard times. But it up to us to finish the job we started and ensure no gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender child is abused by charlatans posing as medical experts.  

Finish the Job: Ban Conversion Therapy for Minors

After her second year of tryouts, a small-town California girl was accepted by her high school's cheerleading squad as its first transgender member, Sacramento TV station KTXL reported Wednesday. 

Anry Fuentes told the station that her mother kicked her out of the house because of her gender identity but she found support in her central California community. Denair is a town of about 4,400 people less than two miles wide. Students and teachers at her high school took up a collection to help pay for her $600 uniform, according to the station.

Aaron Rosander, the school district superintendent told the station Denair values its students. “We’ve dealt with Anry like we’ve dealt with all students: we welcome them all, we support all the kids on their journey through life,” he said.

Many schools have become increasingly accepting of transgender students. Recently in Missouri, one transgender teen was crowned homecoming queen. However, in other schools fights have erupted over which restroom transgender students may use. Another Missouri school staged a walkout when a transgender girl used the bathroom of her choice. 

While coming out to her classmates was difficult, Fuentes said it was easier than the alternative. “It’s so much harder to hide than to come out and be yourself,” she told a reporter. “Like, I found it really hard to, like, say the words you know … them actually coming out of my mouth, but once they’re out, they’re out. That’s it.”

Watch the report from KTXL below.

Trans Girl Rejected By Mom Makes Cheerleading Squad 

WATCH: Trans Girl Kicked Out of Home, Makes Cheerleading Squad

Growing up in Colorado, I frequently heard the story of Katharine Lee Bates being inspired to write the poem “America,” which later became the song “America, the Beautiful,” from the summit of Pikes Peak. It was often relayed with a healthy dose of state pride — only a Colorado mountain could inspire such a magnificent, patriotic song — as if the mountain had written the poem itself.

Seldom discussed was how Bates, an English professor from Massachusetts, ended up on that mountaintop in 1893, and I never heard anything about her professional accomplishments or personal life, including her 28-year “Boston marriage” with fellow professor Katharine Coman. And though some may argue that her sexuality is immaterial to the story, they’re wrong. It is no less important than knowing John Newton’s history in the slave trade before writing “Amazing Grace,” or that Francis Scott Key wrote “The Star-Spangled Banner” after witnessing the shelling of Fort McHenry from the deck of a British warship.

The original “America” poem is partially a travelogue of Bates and Coman’s summer trip to Colorado College to be guest lecturers. On their way west, they visited the World’s Columbian Exposition in Chicago and marveled at the gleaming “alabaster city.” On the Fourth of July their train rolled across the Great Plains as they watched the wheat fields wave in the breeze. Bates wrote in her diary that she was “a better American for such a Fourth.” And later, when she sat down at the Antlers Hotel to pen the first lines of her poem, it was in a room the couple shared.

Knowing that Bates was lesbian certainly would have made a difference to me, growing up as a queer kid. For many years I was an altar boy at St. Francis of Assisi in nearby Castle Rock. The church sat on a bluff overlooking town and pointed directly at Pikes Peak. Rather than put stained glass behind the altar, the architect installed eight enormous plate glass windows, which offered the congregation a clear, unfiltered view of the mountain. When we served, my brothers and I had the best seat in the house, and when I wasn’t ringing bells or fetching the wine, I would stare out at the Front Range and daydream, and that song often came to mind. I doubt I would have felt as alone in my thoughts had I known that the woman who wrote that famous song was a lot like me.

When I started writing Gay & Lesbian History for Kids: The Century-Long Struggle for LGBT Rights, I knew I had to begin atop Pikes Peak with Bates and Coman. The book should be as clear and unfiltered as the view from St. Francis — no need to view it through a lavender pane, or any other color, for that matter. It has been my experience that children don’t want a filter anyway; they prefer honesty.

Fortunately, honesty is at the core of LGBT history. So is courage and creativity and love. Courage, like transgender pioneer Christine Jorgenson stepping off the plane from Copenhagen and into a mob of 300 reporters and photographers. Creativity, as when Mark Allan Segal disrupted Walter Cronkite’s news broadcast and ultimately changed how the anchorman reported LGBT stories. And love, the kind shared by Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon, together for 55 years yet legally married for just the last 10 weeks.

Our struggle is also a tale of hard work and determination. Like pit bulls who wouldn’t surrender a dishrag, for more than a half century Barbara Gittings and Frank Kameny dragged queer issue after queer issue into the light and demanded that American institutions — the government, the psychiatric and medical communities, the military, and more — face the reality that LGBT citizens are entitled to the same rights as everyone else.

In the end, what surprised me most while writing the book was the underlying current of inevitability. Each time the LGBT community was knocked down, it came back even stronger. We’ve won most of the battles we’ve engaged and will eventually win the rest. Looking at our history, I’m sure of that. But that is not to say anyone should become complacent. We can’t get to the summit of Pikes Peak without finding a path and taking every step to the top. But when we get there, I for one will enjoy the view.
 

Why I Wrote a Gay History Book for Kids

For Gabrielle Diana Gladu, 16 is particularly sweet. Two years after a suicide attempt, she is thriving — a transgender teen who beat the odds.

Tall, blond, sharp-witted, and stylish, she lives in Ottawa, Canada, with her predominantly Catholic family, who immigrated a generation ago from Poland and France. Her family is not fabulously wealthy, but they work hard and organize their resources well to support her. 

But Gladu is all too aware that increasing transgender visibility and fresh legal protections seem to go hand-in-hand with continuing discrimination in almost every sphere of trans people’s lives — be it travel, education, health care, or employment.

While many trans youth have turned to YouTube to find community, support, and a powerful vehicle to share their own stories, Gladu stands out among her peers. Boasting more than 2,800 subscribers at press time, Gladu's channel takes on everything from the talk show host Wendy Williams’s transphobia to offering do-it-yourself beauty and style tips. 

Tragically, sometimes all the help and support in the world cannot keep the anguish at bay for clinically depressed trans teens, who face a unique set of challenges that make them especially vulnerable to suicide. Indeed, much of The Advocate's coverage of trans issues centers on the disproportionate amount of violence foisted upon this tiny segment of the population.

But to kick off Transgender Awareness Month, good news was in order. That's where Gladu comes in. Her story epitomizes the resilience trans youth — and adults — put on display every day they spend living their truth. The Advocate spoke with Gladu over the phone and in emails about her home life, her role models, her family, schooling, social media activism, and most important — her aspirations. 

Read on to find six ingredients that help Gladu flourish as a trans teen — ingredients that can be applied to any young person's life as a source of hope and direction for all trans youth, their families, and their communities in a difficult world. 

1. Gladu’s family loves and supports her. 

While many trans youth face rejection from their families of origin, Gladu's family has always had her back, she says:

“My mother, my grandmother, my great aunt — they are so, so supportive. My grandmother told me that, when I first started transitioning, my great aunt was so exited to buy me clothes, and when I heard that I was just like ‘Wow,’ and they take the time to learn and [my great aunt] tells me that if people don’t accept me, ‘Screw them!’ and I want to make sure I give a shout-out to my brother. I don’t know where I would be without my family.”

For any teen navigating the trials and tribulations of adolescence, unconditional family acceptance can make a big difference. Even when depression and anxiety arise, the strength of active affection can lift a trans teen higher — and even save a life.

On September 27, Gladu posted a video to her YouTube account that was featured on BuzzFeed and subsequently went viral. In the video, along with a birthday cake, her mother gave her a beautiful gift: confirmation that her long-awaited legal name change had finally gone through. In the lore of trans lives, public and government acceptance of personal choices for naming stands near the top of the proverbial affirmation pyramid.

2. Gladu received immediate help and ongoing support after her suicide attempt. 

The 16-year-old recounts a dark moment in her young life: 

“It was the beginning of grade 8, 2012. I was very, very confused. I knew something was different about me. I was so afraid of what people would think of me. On December 12, 2012, I overdosed on sleeping pills, and I was brought to the hospital. I would not have made it if my friend [had not] called my house. And after I [took the pills] I texted my friend and said, ‘What did I just do?’ I was thinking, Maybe this is for the better, if I’m never going to be what I am."

After the incident, Gladu underwent intensive therapy and began to reorganize everything in her life around accepting her identity. Transgender suicide rates are staggering, and advocates insist that caregivers must be particularly watchful of at-risk teens with a history of anxiety, and strike a balance between carefully monitoring them for warning signs and trusting them to be independent. 

3. Gladu’s school accepts and accommodates her without singling her out.

“I have my own bathroom at the school that I attend right now. They are very, very, very accommodating towards me,” Gladu explains, emphasizing that the most important thing that schools can do is listen to the wishes of trans youth and be open to their needs. 

While Gladu is most comfortable using her own bathroom at school, she readily insists that trans teens have the right to use the bathroom that matches their gender identity, and displays an impressive knowledge of the policy issues surrounding full legal rights for equal access to facilities. 

When she started ninth grade and disclosed her gender identity, her school immediately waived her gym requirement, which would have entailed competing against boys. Even then, school administrators didn't single her out: 

“Actually, it’s funny, the vice principal knows that I am trans because he accommodated my needs. But the current principal did not know that I [am] actually trans until my BuzzFeed article went completely viral, and she came up to me at lunch one day and said, ‘I didn’t even know that you are transgender, and it’s great.’ Even not knowing, she was still really accepting, and everyone has an idea of who I am as a person. I would talk to her about LGBTQ rights, and she was completely open to talking about it. That’s really important: that your principal and your vice principal and the school board accommodate your needs, and I am really thankful about that.”

4.When faced with religious oppression, Gladu chose an accepting spiritual life.

“I do not attend a Catholic school now,” Gladu explains. After encountering a lack of acceptance in her previous parochial school, she made a conscious choice to go to a public school because she didn't believe that a Catholic school would accommodate her transition in the manner that her current school's administration has welcomed her. 

Despite her family’s Catholicism, in her quest for trans-affirmative spiritual growth, Gladu has turned to Buddhism:

“I left the [Catholic] religion because I do not feel comfortable in a church that does not accept me. I identify myself as a Buddhist. It’s early on in the stages and I am rebirthing myself and my spirituality. I’m very content with Buddhism because I feel like it has great teaching and it has helped with my transition in the way that a lot of the teachings are about compassion and being conscious of your body and your mind and what you are saying and I feel like that has a really profound effect on my transition and who I am now.”

5. Gladu surrounds herself with great role models, friends, and supporters.

Gladu looks up to Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, and Blythe Smith in a way that highlights the significance that positive trans role models play in a teen’s life. She also finds inspiration from role models within social media like Julie Vu a.k.a Princess Joules on YouTube, Kat Blaque on Facebook, and Blythe Smith on Twitter. “Blythe is one of my beauty inspirations," says Gladu. "She always has her makeup blended to perfection and she's extremely visually appealing!”

Lastly, Gladu acknowledges Kim Laurier as a profound trans inspiration:

“Kim is one of my sweetest trans friends. We've known each other online for a long time and I started transitioning before her, and to see her growth now as a young trans woman makes me so happy. I relate to her so much because she's a real poetic masterpiece, and she's a musician and YouTube personality as well, and we get along so well. My heart goes out to her since she's been through quite a lot!”

6. Gladu has a passion for educating people about trans experiences.

Gladu’s YouTube channel extends the educational work that she performs in her everyday life:

“I began to go on YouTube and I researched about, you know, what it meant to be transgender because I finally felt like I understood ... why I felt this disconnect with myself and it’s because I’m transgender. And I think I’ve done a good job of educating people and that’s one thing I’m really proud of in my transition. You can’t expect people to already know. You have to educate people.” 

Glad is a trained musician, currently working on an album of original songs. She’s also a style enthusiast, with a keen understanding of how apparel and accessories can highlight an individual's unique spirit. 

Perhaps most important, Gladu is a thoughtful, burgeoning trans advocate with an understanding of policy concerns that impact trans lives fit for someone well beyond her years. As such, it's safe to say that viral video won't be the last time the globe gets to know Gabrielle Gladu. 

6 Reasons This 16-Year-Old Trans Girl Gives Us Hope

6 Reasons This 16-Year-Old Trans Girl Gives Us Hope

"Student body president. Recruited football player. Loads of friends. Caring family.

"Miserable. Coping with suicidal thoughts."

With those words, Harrison Wilkerson describes his life as a gay high school student, just one year after surviving the ordeal of battling depression, coming out, and learning to live. 

Now attending college in Southern California, the 18-year-old wrote a first-person account of his struggle for OutSports, a moving, heartbreaking reflection of his fight to cover up and finally confront his truth. 

Wilkerson is from a small North Carolina town, where “there's only a handful of stop lights and you can almost guarantee you will run into someone you know just about every time you leave the house,” he wrote. 

The teen confessed that he realized something wasn’t “clicking” when he became an upper classman:

"While all my teammates were talking about girls in the locker room I couldn't have been more uncomfortable. I had no interest in the topic whatsoever. As a high school boy, this was not the norm, and a few guys began to notice. Not knowing the answer myself, I denied many times having any interest in guys, but the denials weren't enough to quiet the questions."

Wilkerson even dated girls to earn “cred” with his teammates. But there was no sexual connection, and depression took hold of him.

"Deep down I knew I was gay, and there was nothing I could do about it. I wanted so badly to be straight, but I knew there was no more denying who I was.

"Unknown to anyone at the time, I struggled daily with anxiety and severe depression. I wrestled privately with suicidal thoughts for months. Bullying and harassment increased at school. People in passing cars screamed homophobic slurs at me. At one point another vehicle literally ran me off the road. All of it was because I was coming out of my cocoon, finding the need to be my truth. Yet simply because I was different, life was becoming a living hell."

He wrote that with the help of his parents and friends he avoided suicide, and learned to “live my life authentically.” 

"Eventually I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The day came when I was able to finally look myself in the mirror and say "I am gay." I soon confided in one friend that I was in fact gay, like so many had suspected. From there my confidence grew. I began to tell my closest friends, then a few more. Eventually it became the worst-kept secret in town."

Wilkerson wrote that he he decided to share his personal, private and painful story so others would know they are not alone. He's calling for greater awareness of mental health issues, stating depression can indeed be a matter of life or death. 

"For a long time I have debated writing my story publicly. I don't want to seem self-indulgent, or that I am sharing this for attention. However, I can't live in fear any longer. I am willing to deal with people's false assumptions if it means somewhere out there some kid knows it's perfectly OK to not feel 100% all of the time. I am doing this piece because I can't get another text, see another Facebook post, or read about another person in the news who ended their life because they had no one there for them."

Read the full article in OutSports,here.

LGBT youth (ages 24 and younger) considering suicide can reach the Trevor Project Lifeline at 1-866-488-7386. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 can also be reached 24 hours a day by people of all ages and identities. And if you are a trans or gender-nonconforming person, Trans Lifeline can be reached at 877-565-8860. 

According to OutSports, Harrison Wilkerson would love to hear from other LGBT youth struggling with loneliness or depression. Click here to connect via Facebook, or here to connect via Twitter or send him an email at wilkersonharrison@gmail.com

Tackling Depression In School: One Teen's Tale

Tackling Depression In High School: One Teen's Tale

In 1999 it was estimated that the average age of people coming out as LGBT was 25. In 2010 the average age for coming out was 16. As people are coming out as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender at much younger ages, their needs for connection and support have grown.

Which is why in 2014, Michael Belkin and his team launched Distinc.tt, an LGBT social network app for people ages 13 and up, which The Wall Street Journal described as “Foursquare meets Facebook for the LGBT community.”

“Gay people have special needs from technology,” says Distinc.tt Founder and CEO Belkin. “Being an invisible minority, we have a special need to meet and interact with others.”

As the app has become increasingly popular with users (whose median age is 16), their need for a helping hand has become increasingly evident to Belkin and company. 

“We saw that people were posting about things that they needed support for, such as, ‘I just came out to my parents and they didn’t take it well. What do I do now?’ or trans youth posting, ‘I’m not comfortable in my own body.’ The community was helping, but we wanted to do more,” says Belkin. 

Distinc.tt just launched its Community Support Resources component, which users can access through the app or anyone can access online.

The 82 resources include organizations, studies, articles, and other helpful information for LGBTQQ youth as well as parents, friends, families, and educators. The categories include helplines and chat, school and education, sex and health, legal, trans and gender identity, bullying and harassment, coming out, homelessness, depression, suicide and self-harm, and racism and diversity.

"It's the largest and most comprehensive resource of its kind," says Belkin. “It can be nerve-racking to do that Google search, but if the resources are presented to you, you’re more likely to get the help you need.”

To access the Distinc.tt Community Support Resources online, go here.

Support for Queer Youth Has Arrived

What happens when a millennial sits down with some LGBT elders at the Stonewall Inn and asks questions about their shared struggle wth LGBT youth? You get a sense that some important collective history is being overlooked.

A five minute video by Arielle Scarcella shows exactly that, and it’s an eye-opening experience in bridging the gap between young and, not so young anymore. 

 “It’s upsetting because I think there's a sense of entitlement with the younger generation -- they have to understand not only did people fight for these rights, we still are fighting for those rights and have so much to do and we can't do it if the next generation is not going to get involved and carry that torch,” said Stonewall co-owner Stacy Lentz in the video. 

“Even the term ‘queer,’ the younger generation is giving themselves this umbrella under which they can play, and never be responsible for any one identity or part,” said lesbian Bridget McGinn in Scarcella's video. 

Scarcella’s aim, as she stated in the video, is to show appreciation of the elder generation and the sacrifices they made. 

Watch her video from YouTube below.

WATCH: Dear LGBT Youth, Please Love Your Elders

WATCH: Dear LGBT Youth, Please Love Your Elders

A teen whose parents kicked him out of the house and cut him off financially because he is gay now has a shot at his dream of graduating college thanks to the support of friends and strangers, reports The Oklahoman.  

Joel Andrew, an 18-year-old freshman who was accepted in Oklahoma City University’s esteemed dance program, has raised more than $60,000 to pay for tuition after his dance instructor’s daughter set up a GoFundMe campaign sharing his story.

Andrew initially came out to his parents at 12, and was soon sent to a Christian reparative therapist for weekly sessions where he was forced to talk about the “gay” and effeminate things he was doing and was taught how to resist the urge.

“Every night, I would pray to God to make me straight,” Andrew told The Oklahoman. “It didn’t work.”

Andrew says his parents kicked him out of their home in Michigan after he began dating another guy, and refused to sign student loan documents so he could attend OCU after he told them he wouldn’t hide his sexuality. They also asked that he stop using his last name.

The crowdfunding page to support Andrew launched with a goal of raising $6,500 to pay for one semester. However, his story soon reached Dan Savage who helped bring attention to the campaign which has now raised $60, 446 – enough to pay for his entire college education.

Andrew’s parents have denied their son’s claims. However, several friends who spoke with Savage corroborate the teen's story.

“What a few months ago seemed impossible now seems achievable,” Andrew writes in a thank you note to supporters on his GoFundMe page. “I’m blown away by the support and words of encouragement from friends, supporters, and strangers. If I had known before that so many people would love me and support me after coming out, I would have done it a long time ago. When I first heard the words ‘It Gets Better,’ I was skeptical; I didn’t believe it was possible. I thought I would be stuck in my small town, surrounded by people who didn’t like me, doing something I hated. Now I will have the chance to make something of myself and all of you have had a huge part in making that dream a reality.”

Now that Andrew has surpassed his goal, Savage encourages people to donate to the Ali Forney Center or the Point Foundation, telling The Oklahoman, “There are a lot of Joels out there.”

Watch The Oklahoman’s video report on Andrew’s story below.

(H/T Towleroad)

Although many would consider it a victory that American Girl Magazine is taking a big stand for LGBT inclusivity by featuring 11-year-old Amaya Scheer and her two adoptive dads in the pages of their latest issue, not everyone is happy about that decision — especially not the notoriously antigay, conservative hate group One Million Moms. 

“The magazine could have chosen another child to write about and remained neutral in the culture war,” read a post on the 1MM website that focused on their 'disappointment' with the magazine. “We must remain diligent and stand up for biblical values and truth. Scripture says multiple times that homosexuality is wrong, and God will not tolerate this sinful nature. American Girl doesn’t highlight other sins in their magazine.” 

The Maryland girl and her parents are fighting back against 1MM and their homophobia. 

“This is none of your business,” Scheer said on a recent appearance on Washington, D.C. TV station WTTG's Good Day DC morning show, in response to 1MM’s opposition to her American Girl feature. 

“These were moms!" said Rob Scheer, one of Amaya’s dads. "These were moms that were saying that my family was wrong, that the love that my husband and I are giving our four kids and what we’re doing was wrong. I would expect moms not to say these type of things about our family. This is our family and it works for us. And you know what? We have four amazing kids that we adopted out of foster care. These are four kids that have fulfilled our life more than we ever thought.”

Watch the Scheers defend the right for their family to be featured within the pages of American Girl in the video below from WTTG.

WATCH: Girl with Two Dads Takes On One Million Moms

WATCH: Girl and Her Two Dads Take On One Million Moms

By day, 21-year-old Spenser Clark is taking classes at Howard University, working toward graduation in June and considering law school. By night, he’s shoulder to shoulder with the biggest sports stars in Washington, D.C.

He’s currently a ball boy for the Wizards basketball team, and when baseball is in season, he’s a bat boy for the Washington Nationals.

And he’s gay. 

Clark wrote about coming out for OutSports: “I work in Major League Baseball and I'm gay.”

During baseball season, his job is to pick up bats, give balls to the umpires, and do anything else a player needs before or during the game. His job is to be inconspicuous. 

“After years of keeping the fact that he is gay a secret, Clark knows how to blend in,” wrote the Washington Post in a report on his revelatory article. 

Clark wrote how he prepared by reading the stories of others who’d come before him, including Billy Bean, Robbie Rogers, Jason Collins, Conner Mertens, Chandler Whitney and more:

“Coming out to my Nationals coworkers was a completely different experience than any of the others. At work I was tired of trying to fit into conversations about women and having nothing to say. I couldn't express myself the way I wanted. I didn't want to hide anymore. I was unsure about how "sports people" would feel about having a gay co-worker. I was worried about getting fired or ostracized, all because of who I am.

“None of that happened. I told everyone individually and everyone had similar reactions. They were proud of me and congratulated me for feeling comfortable enough with myself to be myself. They told me that nothing would change - and nothing did.”

Right now, there's not one active major league player, coach, manager or owner who is out. Clark says he hopes to be a general manager of a team someday, perhaps the first one who is openly gay.

Clark recalled that his “best moment on the field” came not in the form of anything he did, but the fact he worked a game with out umpire Dale Scott:

“His story inspired me, and seeing him do what he loved while being completely open was awesome. In that moment we were both just doing our jobs, and at the end of the day that is the ultimate goal.”

Read Spenser Clark’s coming out story in OutSports here. 

Bat Boy Comes Out, Finds Acceptance

Washington's Bat Boy Comes Out, Finds Acceptance

The new Moschino Barbie is a huge hit (currently sold-out!), and its commercial is breaking boundaries by featuring a young boy in it.

"Moschino Barbie is so fierce!" the boy screams as he and two female friends laud the doll, done up in designer Jeremy Scott's sleek glamour. Barbie's cellphone goes off and the male child says, "It's for you, Moschino Barbie," before winking at the camera. Watch the ad below.

The strict gender lines of toys and children's accessories have slowly been breaking down, with Target moving to make its signage more gender-neutral.

Boy Stars in New Barbie Commercial 

There is a glaring absence of comprehensive sex education in the United States. And when it comes to men and women who are same-sex inclined, the curriculum is nonexistent. As our society becomes more and more conducive for youth to feel comfortable with their sexuality, there has never been more of a need for gay sex ed than for today’s queer generation. In fact, HIV diagnoses among gay and bisexual men, ages 13-24, are up by 132.5 percent since the beginning of the century. Recent studies have also found that teens who get comprehensive sex education make better choices about sex. 

So get out your pens and crack those notebooks — it’s time to take some notes.

Anal Sex 101

When it comes to anal sex, there are three main topics that you should study: Cleanliness, Comfort, and Consent.

Cleanliness— Anal sex can be great, but the last thing you want to ruin your sexy moment is an unappealing smell. Sometimes, all you need is a good push and some sani-wipes to be sex-ready. Other times — depending on your diet or your digestive system — you may need to douche. Douching, however, can damage the mucous membrane of the anal wall, so be careful.

Comfort— Lube is one of the most important components to a healthy gay man's sex life. Lube not only makes anal sex feel better, but it can also reduce your risk of tearing the anal wall. Lube makes for cleaner, safer, and more pleasurable sex for both partners. So when in doubt, always opt for more lube. There are general two types of lube to choose from.

Water-based lube: This type of lube is easy to clean and safe to use with toys as well as during anal sex. This kind of lube rinses off with just water and is 100 percent latex condom–compatible. However, this lube is not as long-lasting as silicone because it absorbs into the body and it is not waterproof.

Silicone-based lube: This type of lube is smooth, long-lasting, and less likely to feel sticky or tacky during use. Since this lube doesn’t absorb into the body, a little goes a long way, and it works in the shower, bathtub, pool, or hot tub. Silicone-based lube, however, is not as easy as water-based to clean off. It requires soap and water to remove. It is also not compatible with silicone-based sex toys.

Consent— Consent is hardly ever discussed when it comes to gay sex, but it is an integral part of being a healthy gay man. The duality of men being men and same-sex intimacy far too often can blur the lines of sexual abuse. You have the right to say no. Your partner has the right to say no. If you or your partner is too inebriated for one reason or another, not being able to say no is not a yes. Do not compromise your emotional and sexual health by being pressured into doing things you aren’t comfortable with just because you are too afraid to speak up. Use the power of consent and make sure your sexual partners feel comfortable with using theirs.

HIV 101

HIV isn’t just a gay issue, but the importance of HIV is entrenched in gay history, gay culture, and gay sex. Although HIV is very much a manageable disease today, it can still cause mental, emotional, and physical trauma without the proper information and support. And with HIV infection on the rise among young gay and bisexual men, it is imperative to arm yourself with the right information in order to stay safe and enjoy your sex life without fear.

Transmission— HIV is transmitted through certain body fluids – blood, semen, pre-seminal fluid (pre-cum), rectal fluids, vaginal fluids, and breast milk. HIV does not live in saliva. The highest-risk sexual behavior among gay men is anal sex, with receptive anal sex (bottoming) riskier than insertive anal sex (topping). Anal sex, especially sex without lube, can cause damaged tissue in the anal mucous membrane, or the lining of the anal wall. When HIV-infected seminal fluid or pre-seminal fluid comes into contact with the damaged tissue, transmission occurs. It is far less likely for transmission to occur from oral sex, but it is not impossible. If a person has open sores on the inside of their mouth and their HIV-positive sexual partner ejaculates in their mouth, transmission can happen. However, most types of oral sex carry little to no risk.

Protection — If you have any fear regarding HIV, you can relax. The good news is you are free to enjoy sex without ever having to worry about being diagnosed with HIV as long as you choose a protection method that works for you.

Condoms: The gold standard of safe sex. Condoms are highly effective at preventing HIV transmission when used correctly. Condoms are a simple and easy protection method that will keep you and your partner safe.

PrEP: Pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), the daily dose of an anti-HIV medication, is 99 percent effective at preventing HIV transmission when used correctly. Truvada is the only drug approved so far for use in prevention. According to recent reports, the vast majority of gay men do not wear condoms 100 percent of the time. PrEP is an excellent tool to keep you safe if you and your partner do not wear a condom for whatever reason. Although PrEP does not prevent against other STDs, a prescription for PrEP does require regular doctor’s visits, which include routine lab work, so it allows for the user to take control of their sex life and stay engaged in their sexual health.

PEP: This prevention method, known as post-exposure prophylaxis, is meant for use only when someone believes that they have been exposed to HIV with risk of transmission. This is not an active prevention strategy, but a reactive precaution that is available to you if you need it.

TasP: Treatment as prevention, known as TasP, is when an HIV-positive person is on antiretroviral treatment and achieves an undetectable viral load. When a person reaches an undetectable status, they reduce their risk of transmission by 96 percent. To date, there have been zero confirmed cases of HIV transmission by an undetectable person.

Disclosure — The single most important subject to master when it comes to your sexual health is disclosure. Everyone has an HIV status, and an HIV-negative person has just as much of a responsibility to disclose his or her status as an HIV-positive person. Always inquire about your partner’s HIV status, but never assume that he or she is HIV-negative or undetectable just because they say so. People who are unaware of their HIV-positive status or have yet to begin treatment account for 91 percent of new HIV infections in the U.S. Unless they have just been tested and have not been with anyone since, you cannot be sure just by taking their word. By disclosing, however, you open the conversation about HIV and STDs between you and your partner. These conversations are vital to establishing trust and fostering healthy communication with your sexual partner.

Testing — There are more than just two HIV statuses. There is HIV-negative, HIV-positive, HIV-positive and undetectable, and HIV-unaware. If you have had even one unprotected sexual encounter since your last HIV test, then you are HIV-unaware. And the same goes for your partner. By getting tested regularly and using the prevention method that works for you, you can always be sure what your HIV-status is. For a list of free testing locations in your area, visit here.

Worry-Free Sex— When you disclose your own status and take precautions to protect yourself from transmission, your sex life will be amazing because you have the knowledge that you are protected, no matter what. With this information, you can have sex with, date, or even marry the person who’s right for you, regardless of his or her status.

When I think back to childhood, I think of shame.

For as far back as I can remember, I always knew I was different. I preferred a Barbie to a ball. Having a sister who was is less than a year older than me made doll access simple.

When I was born — in 1990 in a blue-collar environment — gender-neutral parenting had not caught on yet; if it had, it was sure as hell not in Syracuse, N.Y. I’m pretty sure it still isn’t. Tonka trucks, baseballs, and Nerf guns were for boys. Barbies, Easy-Bake ovens and jump ropes were for girls. Boys should play football in the street; girls should go to ballet class.

This was well before I’d heard of the gender-based wage inequality, menstrual cycles, and perineal tears during birth, and I couldn’t help but feel that girls had gotten the better end of the stick.

I was stubborn and unwavering. Having access to Sarah’s “girl” toys wasn’t enough; I wanted my own. I had post-hippie parents, and it was not hard to convince my parents that, though I had an X and a Y chromosome and a penis between my legs, I too needed dolls to be happy. If my parents ever tried to dissuade me, I certainly don’t recall. Our house was a democracy; when Sarah got a Barbie, I got one too. When Sarah got Samantha from the American Girl doll catalogue, I got Molly.

***

Every year, for birthdays and holidays, I would ask for dolls or princess castles, and most every year, that was what I was given.

It was an act of rebellion. I saw how grown men looked at my presents, and my stomach would tense inside as I would feel embarrassed; I would want to cry. I could have just waited to get them at home on my birthday or Christmas morning, in the privacy and safety of my immediate family. But, something in my early childhood head wanted to protest societal expectations.

Why shouldn’t I be able to get a new princess castle? Why should I have to hide it?

I kept asking to get those presents, and my parents — who I’m sure could see reactions just as well as me — kept giving them.

***

As I grew older, the rebellious spirit within me died down; I became more self-conscious about playing with “girl toys.”

You get so sick of hearing “Why do you talk like a girl?” so you make conscious efforts to deepen your voice, to not let your sentences go up at the end. You get so sick of hearing “Why do you walk like a girl?” so you make sure your hips aren’t switching, you walk slower, with more control. You get so sick of hearing “Why are you playing with girls’ toys?” so you just start doing it out of sight, on your own, secretly.

Other children vocalize their opinions; their preconceived notions and expectations as to what you should be, how you should behave. Grown-ups are subtler, their judgment more discreetly implied. I was so tuned into quiet, even unspoken, adult opinions. I wanted their approval. I wanted everyone’s approval. So, when visible, I morphed myself into what they wanted me to be; what I thought I should be.

***

My favorite Barbie was “Holiday Princess Belle,” the doll was based on Disney’s Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas— a VHS tape I also owned and loved. Belle came with a dark maroon lip color and a velvet ball gown with gold detailing. I played with her all the time.

I eventually grew tired of her extravagant ball gown and switched her to a blue cloth dress that I bought from Amish people at a farmer’s market. When I played with her I held her by the hair and spun her so the skirt of her bucolic gown ballooned out. I did this so often that her hair began coming off, revealing small bald spots. Luscious locks or receding hairline, I still loved her just the same.

For a while, I shared a room with my brother and sister, filled with all of our toys. When Sarah moved across the hall to her own room, I let her take most of the dolls and the trunk we kept filled with Barbies. The bunk bed that I used to share with Sarah became just my own. I moved from the top bunk to the bottom, and I filled the former with a huge pile of stuffed animals. Stuffed animals are for boys and girls, so those are fine. I can let those show.

Unbeknownst to anyone but me, I kept Belle on the top bunk, buried beneath the stuffed animals. I always knew exactly where she was.

Today she is under the Pikachu, next to the Mickey, just above the Tweety.

***

One morning, before school, I thought I was upstairs alone. I sat on my bed, humming and twirling Belle by her hair.

I heard a rustling in the hall. My heart dropped. I peered out. Who is that?

The door to my room started creaking open, and I quickly tried to stash Belle in between the bed and the wall. It was too late. My mom had seen me.

“Honey, I saw you playing with that Barbie,” she said. “Why do you feel like you have to hide it?”

I had been tranquil just a moment before. I immediately burst into tears, the kind of uncontrollable sobbing where you can’t even form a sentence.

“I d-d-d-on’t … I d-d-d-on’t want to talk about it,” I cried. “Why were you spying on me? Can’t you just pretend you didn’t see?”

“I wasn’t spying on you. I could see into your room as I walked up the stairs,” she explained softly. “Why are you so upset?”

“I know it’s a girl toy,” I said. “ Sometimes I just wish I had been born a girl; my life would be so much easier.”

“Do you think you are a girl on the inside?” she asked gently, concerned.

“NO!” I shouted. “I want to play with girls' toys, but I don't want to be a girl!"

I continued to cry harder and harder; I was having a panic attack, an identity crisis. I couldn't wrap my head around why everything and everyone has to stay so tightly boxed in.

She started crying too.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was just trying to help.”

***

With my room no longer a safe space, I began hiding Belle even deeper among the jumbled heap of stuffed animals.

After careful scouting to absolutely make sure no one was proximate or observing, I would pull her out and stuff her into my armpit, shielding her beneath my billowy T-shirt. I would lock her head into my sweaty crevice and quickly creep to the bathroom. I would lock the door and play with her without anyone watching.

I took Belle into the bath with me, letting her stand beneath the spout as I imagined it was some beautiful waterfall in the fantasyland that I created for her in my mind.

Afterwards, I would towel her off, stick her back into my armpit and bring her back to my room where I put her back beneath my stuffed animals.

***

This secret playing went on for months. Then one day I heard my mom say hi from outside of the bathroom. I was taking a bath and thought I was home alone and had forgotten to bring anything in besides a towel.

Where can I hide her where no one can see? Can I keep her beneath between my thighs and still walk normally? No. Can I hide her in here?

Our bathroom was rather small, and there was not a hiding spot where I didn’t fear my mom might see her again. I really didn’t want to have to have another conversation about why I was secretive about Belle. Even if she didn’t bring it up, I hated that sense of awareness that there was something another person wanted to talk to you about. That it was in their mind and on the tip of their tongue.

I had a plan.

“I’ll be right out!” I shouted to my mom. I took Belle and brought her over to the roll of toilet paper. I began slowly unrolling it and wrapping her up; I mummified her. What better disguise? When I was done, I emptied the wastebasket and jammed her into the bottom. I covered her with the empty toilet paper rolls that had been sitting there from before.

I flushed the toilet washed my hands and scurried out.

***

That afternoon, I got distracted playing Sega. An hour passed, and I suddenly remembered Belle. I darted up the stairs to the wastebasket. It was empty!

I hurried downstairs to check the kitchen trashcan. It was empty too! The trash had been brought outside. I opened the back door and sprinted across the yard to where the garbage cans were lined up in between the garage and the fence.

There were four garbage cans, and they were all filled near to the brim with giant white trash bags. I can rummage through these, I thought. I can find Belle. I can save her.

But something within me made me hold back.

No, I thought. It’s over; Belle’s gone.

I turned around and walked back to the house. I felt like I had lost a friend, but sometimes losing a friend can also be a relief. I didn't get to say goodbye, but in a way I did.

Did I mean to hide her, or did I mean to throw her out?

I mummified her and put her in the wastebasket. I disposed of her like trash, and like trash she was taken away to rot in some landfill. That was her fate, the fate I had delivered to her. Should I feel guilty now? Should I feel guilty that it felt like a weight had been lifted?

Should I feel sorry for her, or should I feel sorry for me? 

Barbie and Gay Shame

The memorable ad for the Moschino Barbie— a collaboration between out designer Jeremy Scott’s fashion line and the legendary Mattel toy — won’t be seen outside of the Internet since the limited run of dolls is already sold out.

The ad was believed to be the first by Barbie to feature male children. The video quickly went viral on the internet this week, due in no small part to the proudly flamboyant boy and his memorable line “Moschino Barbie is so fierce!” But the dolls were just as popular as the clip, selling out in one day earlier this month.

The Moschino Barbie video parodied 1980s Barbie commercials and the young boy was inspired by a childhood Scott. The designer described the video as a “fauxmercial,” since he and Mattel saw it more as a publicity tool than an actual commercial.

“When I dreamt up the concept for the Moschino Barbie fauxmercial, I felt it was natural to have a little boy representing for all the little boys like myself who played with Barbies growing up,” Scott said, according to the U.K.'s PinkNews. “Barbie was more than a toy, she was a muse for me.”

Mattel echoed the gender-neutrality of the dolls and the Moschino clip.

“The video celebrates how boys and girls alike play with Barbie — it’s all about self-expression, fashion, imagination and storytelling,” Mattel said in a statement.

Boy Barbie Commercial Won’t Make It to TV